1. Don’t compare yourself to other mommies: We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Let’s face it, some people are just better at other things than we are, and it’s okay. Focus on what you’re good at and embrace it. And if you’re up for it, see what it is that you’d like to be better at and work on that too. None of us are perfect. We are all trying to figure out what the “right and wrong” thing is and I’ve realized it’s different for every person and baby. So at the end of the day, when you lay your head on your pillow at night, if you can tell yourself your doing the best you can; guess what, it’s good enough.
2. It’s okay to work: In our society we are so full of shaming. Shaming moms for going to work. Shaming moms for staying home. At first, I felt so guilty for going back to work and leaving my baby at home but I know that I am working toward a better life for all of us. Tom and I both work so hard and want to be able to give our son a good life. We want to travel with our family, have great experiences, send him to good schools, and teach him about the world. For us, that comes with the price tag of me going to work and I’ve learned that’s okay. I know it also sets a good example for him that you have to work hard in life for what you want. No one is going to come and hand him anything in life on a silver platter. So if going to work each day shows my son that you have to work hard in life to get what you want than I’ll take it. (I have also chosen to work part time and for me it’s the perfect work / life balance. I still get to socialize with adults, do work that I enjoy and also spend time with my baby.)
3. Better time management: With working also comes better time management. I value the time I spend with my son so much more. I’ve learned how to plan my days accordingly. I found myself to be more organized and when I get home I soak up every minute with him. Looking back while I was on maternity leave, I realized how much time I wasted. Hanging at home, watching tv, cooking and what not. With a stricter schedule I am able to set time aside just for my son. We eat dinner together as a family, play, enjoy his night time bath’s and read books before bed. On my days off, we laugh and play so much more than if I was home every day. So for me, it’s a good balance.
But like I said, to each their own. Some mommies excel and love staying at home and kudos to you! (But it’s not for me.)
4. Don’t compare your baby to other babies: All babies are different. What one baby excels in another one may differ. Some babies walk sooner, some babies get teeth sooner, some babies talk sooner; every baby ticks to their own drum. I have read multiple articles about baby development and it’s hard not to compare your child to others (especially when all your friends around you are having babies.) As long as your pediatrician tells you that your baby is healthy and hitting it’s milestones don’t drive yourself crazy! It’s not worth it. The baby years are so short as it is. So sit with your little one and savor every milestone because I have to say, my son is 6 months old already and man has time flew by. They say life moves faster when you have kids and that couldn’t be more true. Embrace the sleepless nights, their first smile, the little giggles, the funny poop faces and grimaces because one day those will fade and I guarantee you’ll miss them.
5. Don’t be afraid to still live your life: Some people have kids and let them dictate their life. I truly feel you have to make your children fit into your lifestyle. If you enjoy traveling, travel with them. Going to dinner, take them with you. Hanging out at the beach, bring them along with an umbrella. Having fun outdoors, strap them on you and hike along. (Being safe of course.) Life is meant to embrace what is important to you. It’s all in our mindset. Granted, it’s still important to take time as a couple and have time to yourselves but don’t let having a child make you feel like you can’t do anything. My mom used to take me everywhere and I swear to this day the reason I am such a social butterfly is because she always brought me along with her on her daily extravaganzas.
Well there you have it! Little thought’s I had to share. Us mommies are all in this together and trying to figure it out. Cheers to doing our best and not letting the idea of being a “perfect parent” ruin how great each one of us really are.